He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not...

You remember the game! You pull each petal off of a flower (ok, I think I might have used weeds but that actually just shows the quality of boys I surrounded myself with or where I spent my time) and alternate each pluck with "he loves me" and "he loves me not". The fundamental problem with this game is the mindset it puts you in.  You automatically rule your own emotions out.  Your focus should be on how you feel about him.  Think about it - that's the only thing you can control and clearly you know that or you wouldn't be playing these silly games.  Ok, I have fast forwarded a decade or two to adulthood.  We may not pick the petals off of our $7 Farmer's Market Daisies but perhaps even worse we harp on it.  Asking our friends over $12 martinis and mulling around the house reliving every last conversation and action. Looking for a sign of how he really feels. 

What should you be doing?  A) living your life, I am fairly certain you have way more important shit to get done today.  B) Determining how you feel about him.  Are you totally yourself when you're with him? Does he make you laugh? Does he make you a priority? Do you see yourself wanting to take trips together? Is there potential past 2am? Do you even want to stay up until 2am with him? Figuring out the basics of what you want and how YOU feel.

Now I am a fairly confident person and I would be lying if I said I hadn't caught myself doing this before (Ok, maybe recently. Damn, my need for over-sharing.).  It's easy to get excited and then start to worry you will be let down or worse have your heart broken. But I promise you, the most important person in your life is you and if you don't figure out what makes you happy then no one else will either.  So just chill the hell out, figure out how you feel and I promise you that your confidence will shine through and suddenly the last worry on your mind will be how he feels about you.

happily,

kim