Age - Is it just a number?

In the age of "Cougars" and "Pumas" and when the Demi Moore's, Courtney Cox's and Jennifer Aniston's (remember, John Mayer) of Hollywood are making the older woman/younger man scenario look hot...is it?  Traditionally, it's always been widely accepted that men date younger - biologically it just makes sense.  A 40-something guy may not want the risk involved with a 40-something woman.  From a maturity perspective it also makes sense - guys, I think it's common knowledge that we ladies just mature faster.

But is this really a "Rule" that we have to stick with?  Can women successfully date, love and eventually marry a younger man?  I mean, you can't help who you fall in love with, right?

So I went out asking...

My (Male) neighbor's rule - "I think you can go 5 years in either direction until the age of 40 and then you can go 10.  After 60, he says there are no rules, you just take what you can get."

Local (Female) Journalist Friend - "10 years over, 2 years under. Men mature slower!"

Local Dating Coach Loxie Gant - "It's all about LIFE STAGE, not age."

This got me thinking some more...my idol, the lady I used to skip school for as a kid (so that I could "study" to be as funny as she was), Lucille Ball fell madly in love with and married a younger man, Desi Arnaz.  A love that lasted over 50 years (the marriage was admittedly not so great, alcohol and infidelity took it's toll).

I'm open to thoughts on this one.  Can it really work?  I think I might be coming around on this one...

happily,
kim

First Date...Don't Forget the Basics...

It never hurts to brush up on your first date etiquette before the big date - putting your best foot forward and helping you score the one! 

Cliff Notes (do they still make them?) version -

•        Keep it simple and short – if you like each other that’s why there’s a second date.
•        No cursing (usually it’s my guys that do this one and it’s the f-bomb that I get complaints about),    no talk about the ex’s and don’t get into any conversation that is too serious.
•        A drink or two is fine but don’t get sloshed.
•        The guy should set up the date and pay (and the girl should do the obligatory “reach”).
•        Flirt, have fun and go into EVERY date with an open mind.
•       Turn off your Blackberry, iPhone, Android, iPad…whatever your digital addiction is...
•        Save sex for when you are monogamous. 

Single Mama

So you're ready to get back out there, you're over your ex, you've rediscovered you and you are just READY.  This is a big step, venturing back into the unknown, flirting, online dating, dating services, blind dates, bad dates, first kisses but this is just the norm for a single gal.  If you're a single mama you have even more hurdles - little people depend on you. They depend on you literally to get places and do things but emotionally as well and this can quite easily be the hardest part.

What are the new "rules"? Well now you have your mama-gut instinct to follow but just a few bits of advice:

* Don't forget to make YOU a priority.
* Take time to "flip the switch" from mom to hot date.
* Be totally honest with the guys you date.
* Don't introduce the kids too soon and force a "playing house" scenario.
* Stay in the present - enjoy dating and have a good time.  Try not to fast forward to your personal "Brady Bunch" scenario.

The best part about being a single mom and not just a single woman is you have things figured out the other gals don't.  You are not battling your own biological clock. You know what you want and you know what your priorities are.