Is Your Heart Half-Full?

Have you ever heard the expression "fake it, 'til you make it"? Early on in sales that was drilled into our heads and it's true for so many different areas of your life.  Really all it means is to be positive and confident so that people want to work with you or in this case, be around you.  We all have that friend (or some of us, multiple) that is a constant Debbie Downer - the person who always gets parking tickets, the printer jams on them, the mailman always delivers their mail to the neighbor. Nothing ever goes their way. The Negative Nancy that can turn a beautiful picnic on a sunny day, on a grassy hill, overlooking the ocean at sunset into a ant infested, lactose intolerant, grass is in my champagne & will that damn sun ever set picnic.  You don't want to be around those types of people...do you want to date them, spend the rest of your life with them? Right, so no one else does either.  I'm not saying you can't have bad days. I'm not saying you can't get pissed at some jerk that stands you up.  What you can't do - is harp on it.  Or carry it around with the belief that all men are jerks and you're too late you missed the bus...all the good ones are taken. 

Listen to me on this one - if you act like this, you will stay single. You might as well, get 17 cats, start making your own clothes and have a deal with Netflix that a new movie will arrive every Friday night.  Because you will most certainly be alone unless you find someone equally miserable & then you should run out get matching snuggies.

If you don't believe me you will surely believe the Millionaire Matchmaker - she mentions it in part of her new book and in an interview with LimeLife Blog.  She says essentially the same thing - you have to ditch the baggage. When you let it all go then your soul and your heart are open to love. 

If you really want proof read "Meeting your Half-Orange" by Amy Spencer (I HIGHLY recommend this book by the way) or really any book about optimism out there. 

Keep your heart half full & have faith...love will come.

happily,
kim

My Thoughts On Valentine's Day...

I’ve only ever had one date on Valentine’s Day – EVER. I know this is a random and probably pathetic sounding confession but it’s true. I share this with you to emphasize a point – it is just a Hallmark holiday. It really means nothing! Wouldn’t you rather experience unexpected romantic gestures all year long? A random love note, breakfast in bed, flowers “just because” or my personal favorite a walk on the beach at sunset? There is just so much pressure on that day! Men dread it because they worry they can’t live up to their girlfriends expectations. Single girls dread it because it highlights the fact that they are single once again. I wish I was exaggerating – I have had a ton of women call me already panicking about the big day. I am more than happy to help but the first word out of my mouth is “relax”. This isn’t a final exam that we can cram for in the next few weeks. Your passing grade = Prince Charming. Finding the right person for you will take work and time and it will be completely worth it, I promise.

As for my thoughts on the BIG day…If you are in a committed relationship and this is the one day a year that you are doing something romantic for your significant other we may have a larger issue at hand. Unexpected gestures of love, however large or small, keep the romance alive. To my fun single friends, get dolled up and go out! My favorite Valentine’s Day ritual is linking up with my girlfriends for happy hour at a local dive bar. Do you know how many FUN people we meet? And you can bet most of the people you will meet out that night are single as well.

Now, having said of this...I do LOVE flowers, chocolate, red & pink (especially together), hearts and girly, pretty things.  SO I will be celebrating that part of the holiday all week!

Happily,

Kim

Advice for women on what men want...

I just read this and am guilty of it myself so I thought I would share! I think the lesson I learned is men want to feel like the man in the relationship. 

happily, kim


"But I was only trying to help...."

So you now realize that helping a man without being invited to do so is a bad idea. In fact, doing so makes him feel like you're his mother - yuk! Well what's a woman to do for the man she loves when he's struggling?

Leave him alone?

Tell him to get over it?

Pretend nothing is wrong?

Actually, none of these are very helpful. What men want, yes they crave, is the woman they love to believe in their ability to solve the problem. What you man wants...more than anything else...is for you to be proud of him. Fixing his problem, to him, feels like you feel sorry for him. I realize that this isn't your intention but when he's struggling try saying something like this..

"I don't know how, but I know you'll figure this out."

If he responds with doubt - "I hope so." you then respond with this - "Well, I don't know about hope, but I do know about you. Even if you have doubts about yourself...I don't."

This isn't something I would advise a man to say to the woman he loves, but I promise any man who hears such admiration for his ability will feel a deep sense of loyalty to such a woman who can say such magical words.