I understand the hesitation, I understand the stress of it all - you are putting yourself out there, getting yourself out of the door. Hello, Universe, I'm ready to meet someone! But I'm here to tell you that's only half the battle. I know you are thinking to yourself, you told me to "get out there" & I will meet someone. Yes, this is the first step! Congratulate yourself! Now smile, shoulders back, your arms to your sides or hold a drink - keep yourself open & approachable. The next temptation will be to talk to your friend that you came with all night but you already know him/her so venture out on your own. Check out a painting on the wall, walk over to the bar by yourself, maybe even introduce yourself to someone new. The next thought that crosses your mind, "there is no one here that I'm attracted to". Great! Then you won't be intimidated by them and can walk up and strike up a conversation! Compliments are a nice entry or comment on the venue, wine, food, etc. It is the perfect practice for when you ARE interested in someone!
You also never know:
1) Who else is coming & do you want people to talk about you as the rude girl/guy who wouldn't talk to their friend?
2) Who else that person might know? I know this is going to be hard to hear but maybe, he/she isn't interested in you either but they have a cousin, roommate, sister, co-worker, etc. It's all about increasing your exposure. Word spreads - you might as well have it be good.
3) Now this one is for girls, not guys. Guys are more visual and if they aren't attracted to us initially our charming personalities are probably not going to win them over. However, girls, we tend to let guys grow on us. If they are sweet, thoughtful or most likely funny we give them a chance.
At the end of the night, you should feel like you took full advantage of the event. Make your own fun - ensure you have a great time! Laugh, smile, flirt!!! At the very least, it will boost your confidence and make next time that much easier.
happily,
kim
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