Insensitive? Nope, just tough love. I've been there and know what you're going through. In fact, we've all been there. I mean really, it only takes one time to get it right? So chances are you are going to get hurt in love...My goal is for you to learn from it, move on and finally meet the ONE.
It would be incredibly insensitive of me to end this without giving you my two cents, so here we go -
1) Stop putting your ex on a pedestal. He/She was NOT perfect and definitely not as wonderful as you thought or they wouldn't have left you.
2) Stop texting/emailing/Facebooking/calling/dropping by/happening to be in the same place at the same time.
3) Throw out the stuff that reminds you of them. Take down the pictures. Stop torturing yourself. Being an emotional cutter isn't going to get you on the path to new love!
4) Get closure. I think sometimes it's easier to say "we need a break" then "we need to break up". But that's confusing. It's like when Bentley left Ashley on the Bachelorette, he said this was "..." - he didn't mean that, he just wanted her to stop freaking crying. And, honestly, am not sure I blame him. I couldn't deal with all of that crying and I'm a crier. Having said that, absolutely, NOT the right thing to do. If you know it's over just be honest. You owe the other person that much.
5) Get out and do fun stuff!!! The best way to get your mind off it all is to keep yourself busy. Go out with your friends, get back in the gym, join a new group - whatever gets you going and makes you happy. Go on a trip. Just do it!
6) Think of all of the bad stuff. I have a hard time with this because I tend to focus on the good in people and for some reason, tend to take the blame for why relationships end. If you really feel like you did something wrong, recognize it and don't do it in the next one. So remember, when you start to miss them just think of the crappy things he/she did. You will realize how much better off you are.
7) Most importantly - You have to make yourself happy first. You can't put the pressure on someone else to make you happy. It just won't work, you will be needy and dependent. Once you are happy with you then you will be happy in love.
8) If you've been together for a long time or have gone from relationship to relationship maybe it's time to consider what I call "Cupid's Cleanse - 28 Days to a Healthier Heart". A great way to hit the "reset" button on your love life and a hell of a lot better for you than cayenne pepper and lemon juice! Email me at kim@lovehappenshere.com for a free copy of it.
happily,
kim
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