Weekend Date Ideas for San Diego (January 28 - 31st)

I just thought I would share a few date ideas for the weekend!

• Thursday Night - Harry Connick, Jr will be at the Copley Symphony Hall.  What girl wouldn't melt for Harry?
• How about taking advantage of the rain we had last weekend?  Take a road trip to Big Bear Mountain and hit the slopes (or just the lodge!) and snuggle up by a fire in the evening.
• The sunsets have been amazing all week - take a walk on the beach or go for drinks and enjoy the view.  If you are feeling adventerous why not take a HOT AIR BALLOON RIDE?
• Then check out that new restaurant you missed last week because of the rain - Restaurant Week has been extended!
• Or to Cafe Sevilla for "The Art of Flamenco" (I don't care who you are, Flamenco dancing is just sexy!)

Now, I've made it easy for you by providing the links to every activity - do NOT wait for Valentine's Day to do something romantic!!!

happily,

kim

Wastes of Time

It sounds so harsh and hypocritical coming from me since I tend to tell people to go out with people outside of their "mold" and even to give it more than one date. However, I mean like a handful of dates to let the awkwardness die off a bit - not months or even years of wasted time.  We've all done it - held on to something because it was comfortable or we were too scared to start over. These are "better than nothing" relationships and they are time sucks.  Roadblocks to real relationships.
So then why do we do it?

• security
• we think it is all we can get
• or all we deserve
• or we are scared to date

What do these relationships do to us?

• chip away at our self esteem
• drain us emotionally
• keep us from meeting the right person

How do you know if you are in WOT relationship? You know.  I could create a list of questions for you to ponder over your morning coffee but if you are reading this and can relate to any portion.  You know and you know what you need to do.

Rip it off like a band-aid. 


happily,
kim

The Habitual First Dater...

Are you a habitual first dater? Two weeks ago on the season opener of The Bachelor, Jake Pavelka, claimed to be a habitual first dater. Now to me this indicates one of two things - you are doing something wrong on these dates or you are choosing the wrong people. Either way you are making mistakes and wasting your time. I have to admit this is my first season of watching this show and I am not entirely certain how long I will last but my guess is he is probably doing both. His judgment seems a bit off but I haven't really noticed that he is all that engaging, however, could be because he has a dozen beautiful women throwing themselves at him. At any rate, my point is this...sometimes it's back to the basics. I love lists so here we go:
1) Listen
2)Do NOT have an agenda...I mean this!!! Do not focus on getting a second date or getting the other person in the sack.  Your date will pick up on these vibes and be completely turned off. Just focus on relaxing and having a good time - a much better recipe for success!
3) MEN - plan and pay for the first date.  I do not want to expand on this, it should be a given.
4) WOMEN - offer to pay. Play the game.  ALSO - be attentive and affectionate.  Offer some feedback that he should ask you out again.
5) I am a big fan of the "mini" first date - coffee, drinks or even a beach cruiser ride. You can always ask to do another activity but backing out of something is much more difficult!

And remember...part of us is still that little kid on the playground, nervous and awkard and hoping the other one likes us.

happily,
kim

Your relationships are the heaviest component of your life...

I love romantic comedies, I know it's cheesy and probably to blame for most women's unrealistic relationship expectations but I am a sucker for a happy ending. They are like little mini-vacations from reality. I missed the reviews that stated Up in the Air was "romantic and real" or "hilarious and tragic".  I think I must have been blinded by images of George Clooney dancing in my head! This film is a delightfully funny look at a man who has isolated himself from any type of real intimacy (the title of this blog is his quote). My absolute favorite part of the film is when he (Ryan)  is having drinks with his colleague, who is a 23 year old woman (Natalie) who has just been dumped via text message and his multi-city fling, a 34 year old female version of him (Alex). Natalie is obviously distressed by the break up and goes into a small soliloquy about what her expectations were in her future husband - from brunette, to career to the fact that he will drive a 4Runner. I think she may have gone on for six minutes! Alex retorts with at this age I hope he has hair. I think I actually started crying I was laughing so hard. I can say I do remember the days when I had Prince Charming's list of characteristics clearly defined.  I do believe it's important to know what you are looking for in Mr. Right. I'm just of the mindset we can find a middle ground between 23 & 34...

happily,
kim