I understand the hesitation, I understand the stress of it all - you are putting yourself out there, getting yourself out of the door. Hello, Universe, I'm ready to meet someone! But I'm here to tell you that's only half the battle. I know you are thinking to yourself, you told me to "get out there" & I will meet someone. Yes, this is the first step! Congratulate yourself! Now smile, shoulders back, your arms to your sides or hold a drink - keep yourself open & approachable. The next temptation will be to talk to your friend that you came with all night but you already know him/her so venture out on your own. Check out a painting on the wall, walk over to the bar by yourself, maybe even introduce yourself to someone new. The next thought that crosses your mind, "there is no one here that I'm attracted to". Great! Then you won't be intimidated by them and can walk up and strike up a conversation! Compliments are a nice entry or comment on the venue, wine, food, etc. It is the perfect practice for when you ARE interested in someone!
You also never know:
1) Who else is coming & do you want people to talk about you as the rude girl/guy who wouldn't talk to their friend?
2) Who else that person might know? I know this is going to be hard to hear but maybe, he/she isn't interested in you either but they have a cousin, roommate, sister, co-worker, etc. It's all about increasing your exposure. Word spreads - you might as well have it be good.
3) Now this one is for girls, not guys. Guys are more visual and if they aren't attracted to us initially our charming personalities are probably not going to win them over. However, girls, we tend to let guys grow on us. If they are sweet, thoughtful or most likely funny we give them a chance.
At the end of the night, you should feel like you took full advantage of the event. Make your own fun - ensure you have a great time! Laugh, smile, flirt!!! At the very least, it will boost your confidence and make next time that much easier.
happily,
kim
Ah, the famed one day a year that it is acceptable to dress like a slut. Or is it? This seems to be a hot topic of discussion of bloggers over the last few weeks. "Happy Slut-O-Ween" a recent headline that instantly grabbed my attention (and thus making it incredibly effective) and, well, Lady Gaga is one of the most popular costumes of the season. My question isn't is this acceptable behavior or what has our society become and there is absolutely no judgment on my part. I've worn my share of mini skirts, go-go boots and lacy bloomers. My question is, what do you want to achieve on this hook-up holiday. Just think about it - the "marrieds" have them all - Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year's Eve (which can go either way - hook up's or couples) and the DREADED Valentine's Day. However, Halloween is your chance to go out as someone else or maybe just an "enhanced" version of you. A mini transformation of sorts - a way to be fun and flirty in disguise. You can go slutty and find yourself in a "relationship" that will expire around 4:00am or maybe you go sexy or funny and find a relationship that might have a bit more staying power. I do realize that "funny" requires a level of comfort and creativity that we do all not possess but guys seem to pull this off much better than we do. "Alan" from The Hangover last year was a perfect example. As I was talking to my friend, David Moye about at AOL Weird News - dress however you like, just remember what you project is what will come your way. I just left the costume store and I do find myself frustrated that a majority of the options are (as I also mentioned to David) slutty, witch or a slutty witch. You might recall from SATC 1, Miranda pondered the same question and asked "what does that say about our society". I'm not one to over think, I'm simply suggesting that this holiday is a wonderful way to meet new people - to get outside of your element and I think you should take advantage of that! So if you are going to wear a mini skirt and go-go boots consider wearing long sleeves. Or if you are showing some cleavage maybe make your bottoms slightly more conservative. Or get creative and funny - funny is always a good conversation starter!
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