What The Marines Taught Me About Love...

Now I know where your minds are headed right now but steer back on course...I was actually in the Marine Corps (not working my way through a Fighter Squadron).  This is my own littler version of "All I Ever Needed to Know I Learned in Kindergarten" but with regards to love and relationships and I guess I learned these lessons a few years later. I'm here to tell you that what I learned in the Marines, has made me a better partner.

There were three words drilled into your head from day one, "Honor, Courage & Commitment".  The Marine Corps' Core Values.  It might seem trite to compare creating a warrior to creating a good partner but think about it...you want someone that will have your back, that you can trust without question and that you have a bond that never falters.  Right?

So let's take a closer look...

Honor - never lie, cheat or steal or tolerate those who do. To have respect for others.

Courage - mental, moral and physical strength. What gives you the strength to do what is right.

Commitment - the spirit of dedication and determination.  It's what binds us together.

So if you looked at your significant other like a Marine looked at his "job" I think we might all be better off for it.  Putting them before yourself, never compromising what is right and being fully committed to the relationship. It's really quite simple!

Now how do we get there? Bootcamp for love to follow - stay tuned!!! Everything from "making your rack" to "PT'ing" every morning.

happily,
kim

No Standing in the Corner

I understand the hesitation, I understand the stress of it all - you are putting yourself out there, getting yourself out of the door. Hello, Universe, I'm ready to meet someone! But I'm here to tell you that's only half the battle.  I know you are thinking to yourself, you told me to "get out there" & I will meet someone.  Yes, this is the first step! Congratulate yourself! Now smile, shoulders back, your arms to your sides or hold a drink - keep yourself open & approachable. The next temptation will be to talk to your friend that you came with all night but you already know him/her so venture out on your own.  Check out a painting on the wall, walk over to the bar by yourself, maybe even introduce yourself to someone new.  The next thought that crosses your mind, "there is no one here that I'm attracted to". Great! Then you won't be intimidated by them and can walk up and strike up a conversation! Compliments are a nice entry or comment on the venue, wine, food, etc. It is the perfect practice for when you ARE interested in someone!
You also never know:
1) Who else is coming & do you want people to talk about you as the rude girl/guy who wouldn't talk to their friend?
2) Who else that person might know? I know this is going to be hard to hear but maybe, he/she isn't interested in you either but they have a cousin, roommate, sister, co-worker, etc.  It's all about increasing your exposure. Word spreads - you might as well have it be good.
3) Now this one is for girls, not guys. Guys are more visual and if they aren't attracted to us initially our charming personalities are probably not going to win them over. However, girls, we tend to let guys grow on us.  If they are sweet, thoughtful or most likely funny we give them a chance.

At the end of the night, you should feel like you took full advantage of the event. Make your own fun - ensure you have a great time! Laugh, smile, flirt!!! At the very least, it will boost your confidence and make next time that much easier.
happily,
kim

Weekend Date Ideas for San Diego (January 28 - 31st)

I just thought I would share a few date ideas for the weekend!

• Thursday Night - Harry Connick, Jr will be at the Copley Symphony Hall.  What girl wouldn't melt for Harry?
• How about taking advantage of the rain we had last weekend?  Take a road trip to Big Bear Mountain and hit the slopes (or just the lodge!) and snuggle up by a fire in the evening.
• The sunsets have been amazing all week - take a walk on the beach or go for drinks and enjoy the view.  If you are feeling adventerous why not take a HOT AIR BALLOON RIDE?
• Then check out that new restaurant you missed last week because of the rain - Restaurant Week has been extended!
• Or to Cafe Sevilla for "The Art of Flamenco" (I don't care who you are, Flamenco dancing is just sexy!)

Now, I've made it easy for you by providing the links to every activity - do NOT wait for Valentine's Day to do something romantic!!!

happily,

kim

First Date Convo's...

Some people LOVE first dates but they are not the majority.  I honestly can say I usually really enjoy them - I love meeting new people and learning about them. Knowing that I am in the minority I thought I would jot down a few ideas for those who might find it daunting...

I think there are a few key principles to keep in mind before I even start on my list:
a) Whatever the topic - keep it light!
b) Ask a lot of questions but this is not a job interview...show that you are genuinely interested but make sure you are also listening (I think this is the part some struggle with...).

Sample Topics -

• Travel
• Family, childhood, where you grew up
• Favorite restaurants in town (you could find a new favorite!)
• Ask about their friends and what they like to do in their free time
• Career

You can always try these unique conversation starters that make me laugh.

Dangerous Territory -

• Discussing past relationships.
• Showing too much enthusiasm with regards to marriage & children (wanting or not wanting them).
• Sharing too much information about your dysfunctional family.
• Getting into a heated discussion about politics or religion.

We all want to be a closer but fellas please...pay attention to the signals...

...happily, kim

Love Happens

I just saw Jennifer Aniston's new movie, "Love Happens", the other night (http://www.lovehappensmovie.com/).  I am no Roger Ebert, I promise I will not make any feabile attempts to give a review of the movie. My idea of a good movie is one with a happy ending.  I want the guy to get his girl, the plot to tie up nicely, I don't want to be disturbed for hours or days and in light of the upcoming holiday, I certainly do not want the bejesus scared out of me. I am a sap, a romantic, a girl and I LOVE a good love story. There is always a lesson...I thought I would share a few I gleaned from the movie.

1) Never make up a handicap to avoid giving a guy your number. First of all, it is tacky and really I should not have to explain any more.
2) Try something new. Jennifer seemed to always date guys that let her down. She had an image (musician) and when Aaron Eckhart's character arrived it didn't even dawn on her at first to give him a shot.
3) Be creative.  Seeing a concert in the bucket of a telephone repair truck; classic.
4) We all have baggage. Maybe not as dramatic as losing your wife and not attending her funeral but we all have something that tears at our heart. You have to determine if the person you love's baggage is something you can deal with. If not, move on.
5) Make a grand gesture. Walk into her flower shop (or insert here) and ask for her heart.

And of course remember that Love Happens :)

...happily,

kim

The Truth About Prince Charming...

If I know one thing is true it's this...prince charming isn’t going to ride up to your apartment, condo or house door. This isn’t how it works – no matter how many Jennifer Aniston movies you watch (Speaking of, has anyone seen Love Happens yet - ?)It isn't your fault, you have been trained since a child to think this way - thank you very much, Mr. Walt Disney. From a young age, we are programmed to believe that our prince will come - he will awaken us with a kiss or bring our lost glass slipper to our front door and, of course, live happily ever after. We are all guilty of wanting it to come this easily. But think about it, if he did, your butt would be on the couch, in yoga pants, with your hair on top of your head, a glass of wine in your hand and a bowl of popcorn in your lap. Surely, you would be watching something that I would find fabulous but I am not so sure he would find appealing.

Isn't it better this way? Think this through...you get yourself all dolled-up, you meet a friend for a cocktail, go out and do something amazing and there he is - doing the same amazing thing. Instantly, you have a similar interest, a connection. Sure it requires a tad more work but is there anything in life worthwhile that didn't require some effort? I love Sleeping Beauty and am incredibly happy it worked out for her - but just in case your life isn't scripted so well...you may want to get out of the house.

...happily, kim