The Habitual First Dater...

Are you a habitual first dater? Two weeks ago on the season opener of The Bachelor, Jake Pavelka, claimed to be a habitual first dater. Now to me this indicates one of two things - you are doing something wrong on these dates or you are choosing the wrong people. Either way you are making mistakes and wasting your time. I have to admit this is my first season of watching this show and I am not entirely certain how long I will last but my guess is he is probably doing both. His judgment seems a bit off but I haven't really noticed that he is all that engaging, however, could be because he has a dozen beautiful women throwing themselves at him. At any rate, my point is this...sometimes it's back to the basics. I love lists so here we go:
1) Listen
2)Do NOT have an agenda...I mean this!!! Do not focus on getting a second date or getting the other person in the sack.  Your date will pick up on these vibes and be completely turned off. Just focus on relaxing and having a good time - a much better recipe for success!
3) MEN - plan and pay for the first date.  I do not want to expand on this, it should be a given.
4) WOMEN - offer to pay. Play the game.  ALSO - be attentive and affectionate.  Offer some feedback that he should ask you out again.
5) I am a big fan of the "mini" first date - coffee, drinks or even a beach cruiser ride. You can always ask to do another activity but backing out of something is much more difficult!

And remember...part of us is still that little kid on the playground, nervous and awkard and hoping the other one likes us.

happily,
kim