Like bath water for sex...

"Like water for chocolate" is not only a famous movie and novel but also a saying that is sometimes used in Spanish-speaking cultures to describe passion - sexual or anger. The saying derived from using water vice milk to make hot chocolate - when the boiling water hits the chocolate it melts.

Where am I going with this? Other than just loving the phrase I created a spin-off geared towards relationships. I have to give my friend Colleen credit for coining the analogy though...she said to me the other day, getting back together with an ex is like bath water. You remember the bubbles, hot, steamy water and how wonderful and relaxed you were. You remember your muscles loosening and all your worries melting away. You felt clean and refreshed when you stepped out of the tub. Later you might long for that feeling again and go back. Only to find that the bubbles have turned into soap scum on the side of the tub and the water is is cold and uninviting. Like bath water for sex, you go back and it's already gone.    

When you break-up there are things you will miss - reading the Sunday paper together on the deck, having someone for your other season ticket, that person who gets your sense of humor or watches the same shows.  The hot passion and amazing sex. What you rarely think about in these moments is what was wrong, what didn't work, the soap scum on your tub.

If you are thinking of going back, you have to ask yourself, "has what was broken been fixed?". If the answer is no, then think "like bath water for sex".

Sexy, Slutty or Drab...that is the Halloween Question

Ah, the famed one day a year that it is acceptable to dress like a slut. Or is it? This seems to be a hot topic of discussion of bloggers over the last few weeks. "Happy Slut-O-Ween" a recent headline that instantly grabbed my attention (and thus making it incredibly effective) and, well, Lady Gaga is one of the most popular costumes of the season. My question isn't is this acceptable behavior or what has our society become and there is absolutely no judgment on my part. I've worn my share of mini skirts, go-go boots and lacy bloomers. My question is, what do you want to achieve on this hook-up holiday.  Just think about it - the "marrieds" have them all - Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year's Eve (which can go either way - hook up's or couples) and the DREADED Valentine's Day.  However, Halloween is your chance to go out as someone else or maybe just an "enhanced" version of you.  A mini transformation of sorts - a way to be fun and flirty in disguise. You can go slutty and find yourself in a "relationship" that will expire around 4:00am or maybe you go sexy or funny and find a relationship that might have a bit more staying power.   I do realize that "funny" requires a level of comfort and creativity that we do all not possess but guys seem to pull this off much better than we do.  "Alan" from The Hangover last year was a perfect example.  As I was talking to my friend, David Moye about at AOL Weird News - dress however you like, just remember what you project is what will come your way.  I just left the costume store and I do find myself frustrated that a majority of the options are (as I also mentioned to David) slutty, witch or a slutty witch. You might recall from SATC 1, Miranda pondered the same question and asked "what does that say about our society".   I'm not one to over think, I'm simply suggesting that this holiday is a wonderful way to meet new people - to get outside of your element and I think you should take advantage of that! So if you are going to wear a mini skirt and go-go boots consider wearing long sleeves. Or if you are showing some cleavage maybe make your bottoms slightly more conservative. Or get creative and funny - funny is always a good conversation starter!

LoveHappensHere on the Food Network - NEXT THURSDAY NIGHT!

For those of you that know me you might be laughing out loud at the fact that I would appear on the Food Network.  Believe me in the interview for the role I left out my lack of cooking abilities! I mean I recently realized that my oven doesn't turn on and have made zero attempts to fix! But when it comes to love and introductions we are back in my court or a more suiting analogy for the occasion - my soufflé comes out perfect every time.

Next week on the season premier of the Food Network's newest show Family Style, LoveHappensHere will host a speed dating event to try to help Jimmy find love and well...Joey wants to help his sister find love as well!  Joey serves up aphrodisiac appetizers and Melissa concocts a special sexy cocktail while we facilitate a night of introductions.

It's a night of fun not to be missed!!!
happily,
kim

Details of "Big Date" - 10:30pm ET/PT (OR 7:30pm PST if you have Food Network HD)
Business is slow at Tommy V's so Melissa and Joey Maggiore set up a speed-dating event to attract a young, hip clientele. Joey hopes the event will help his shy cousin Jimmy get lucky with the ladies. And, always the prankster, he secretly signs Melissa up for the event as well.

Mr or Miss Manners...

Being from Virginia I feel it my southernly duty to ensure that my clients, friends and yes, I am on my best behavior.  Offering guests something to drink when they visit. Saying please and thank you. Chewing with my mouth shut. Politely eating my food.  Now I am the first to admit after a long run or two many hours without food I might be guilty of shoveling my food in like it's the last supper.  However, this behavior is NEVER acceptable on a date.
A few nights ago my girlfriend, Denise, and I were having dinner at one of our favorite East Village spots, Cafe Chloe, when we noticed a couple sitting next to us.  Of course, I was nosey wondering if this was a first date and how it would go! I noticed that the gentleman ordered an appetizer for himself and then I noticed that he was shoving giant pieces of bread in his mouth with reckless abandon. Talking with his mouthful and never once offered her a bite.  She demurely sipped her wine and chatted away.  Could this really be happening? Denise and I were floored, appalled, even! I looked away because we were bordering on being rude ourselves.
Two days later Denise & I were in our elevator and the culprit got it - with take out. My thoughts exactly...you should eat at home :)

happily,
kim

San Diego Guide to Fun - June 30th - July 4th

June 30th, 2010 from 6:00-9:00PM


Singles, Canines & Cocktails - Benefiting FOCAS (friends of county animal shelters) 

Come support a great cause & meet like-minded singles at Hotel Solamar's LOUNGEsix!
$15 - pre-register at www.dogtownsandiego.com
$20 at the door
Wednesday, June 30th, 2010
Hotel Solamar
435 6th Ave San Diego, CA

July 1st 0 6:00 - 9:00PM- Summer Salon Series at The San Diego Museum of Art

5 guitars, 2 artists, 2 poets and at least one tank of helium will be at the Summer Salon Series this Thursday. For more info - http://www.sdmart.org/event/summer-salon-series-3

July 2nd - Del Mar Fair Grounds - One Republic 

July 3rd - My favorite 4th of July Celebrations are on Coronado! For a complete listing click here - http://www.ecoronado.com/page/coronado-4th-of-july

July 4th - Complete list of fireworks 

Flipping the Switch

Ladies this one is for you...it's about the transition from work to play.  I know many of us like to think that our same drive and passion that makes us successful professionals will make us successful in all areas of our lives.  This simply is not the case. The same tactics that make you a leader in the boardroom will not make you a leader in the bedroom for lack of a softer way of putting it.  I know your ambitious and have had to make it in a "man's world" - many of us own our companies, are successful attorneys, doctors, busy executives or any number of occupations that are not considered "traditional women's careers". But the fact of the matter is, unless you would like to date/marry a "beta man" you will have to learn to "flip the switch".  Now before I go any further there is NOTHING wrong with a beta man - typically the issue is they are not the men you are attracted to. And therefore you end up annoyed that the men you are attracting you are attracted to and vice versa. Now before I go any farther I am NOT suggesting you change who you are. I am simply suggesting that you tap into your softer side. Most of us - myself included - want the guy to be the guy.  So we need to allow him to be.  My suggestion is to figure out what relaxes you.  My best friend used to come home from work (she's a helicopter pilot in the Navy) and spend 20 minutes doing nothing. She watches Friends or flipping through a magazine until she was back to "normal".  I usually take my dog for a walk or go for a run.  I need the outside air to clear my head and hit the "reset" button.  You have to figure out what takes you back to that feminine place, your softer side, and make the time to do it.


The girl that wants to cuddle up on the sofa or hold hands walking on the beach.  I always recommend that people take a break in-between an after work date.  Maybe even meet a girlfriend for happy hour (ONE drink limit though) before heading out on a date. Decompress and become fun, flirty you again.  I also never recommend lunch dates - most of us will be tempted to answer our phones or check our blackberries.  You just won't be able to completely turn work "off".  Remember guys don't want to date their buddies or business partners. They want to date that fun, sexy girl that makes them feel like a million bucks! So make sure you are the best version of her!
happily,
kim

San Diego Weekend Guide - June 11, 2010

Just a few ideas to get out & meet new people in San Diego this weekend!

1) World Cup Coverage - Ladies hit a local pub & meet some sports minded, fun local guys - just remember not to start chatting them up during close matches or better yet - wait for a commercial!

2) The 30th Annual Firefighter Chili Cook-Off Padres Tailgate Party - Saturday from 12 - 4 - come support the MDA, eat some great food, have a few beers, meet new people AND it comes with a ticket to the Padres game!

3) Lucky 7 Match has a Singles Bowling Event at East Village Tavern & Bowl on Saturday at 5:00pm

4) NBA Finals - Sunday at 5:00pm head back to your local pub (ladies) for game 5.  Same rules apply here though!

Whatever you do - have fun & chat with someone new!

happily,
kim